That day when melancholy grasped my heart for one more time,
the day when thoughts of you became more inevitable, the day I got tired of
thinking about our deserted relationship, the day I started doubting myself if I can take all the lifetime pain I’ve been
bestowed with or not, the day all my philosophy either fled away or dried away
in the deserts of our relationship, the day my wit and my knowledge got lost in
the dark tunnel of pain, “I made a decision, a decision of getting rid of all
this, of this non-confined and unending pain, to get rid of faith and belief
that I can control my feelings and my life, to get rid of my unsure happiness,
I made a decision of attaining peace….”
I thought and searched all probable and possible methods of
getting It, but I failed.. Couldn’t see any path from where I can go to a place
where I can get it except the road to your house. Fortunately-unfortunately,
luckily-unluckily I didn’t take it, I couldn’t take it…..
I consulted my friends and benevolents and a major reply of getting numb in the form
of solution of getting peace…
Well, getting numb is another form of obtaining peace but
for a short span of time. “There s a thin line between attaining peace and
getting numbed, by former we mean calmness, somberness, for a stable period or
for a lifetime but from latter one we get confused of attaining peace..” Once we get over the numbness, the problems
and worries feign us again… I calculated all this in that while, made all the
combinations and permutations in my mind.. Yet on that particular time I made
my mind to get numbed….
Suggestions came flying and flowing, the easiest, simplest
and the cheapest way of attaining The Numbness : by taking the help of Alcohol…
Yes alcohol! This was the way by which I was trying to bury your thoughts : by
dipping it in alcohol….
Bottles were bought and brought and so called pegs were made…
So…. Battle field was ready and all the firearms were ready to fire.. Only
thing left was, making an order.. Took the glass in my left hand and your
thoughts in another, tried to weigh them… The left hand seemed much lighter..
Yet, I avoided it and took the glass and bade goodbye to all your thoughts..
Raised it to the lips, took it too close till it finally filled the gaps
between the lips and the glass… But couldn’t take it.. why?? Because your
bellicose thoughts came to my mind with a flame which burnt the decision of
getting numbed… The flame was nothing but the promise that I’ll never smoke or
drink whatever the consequences are… Once again I felt weakness in my hand and
it started trembling.. It forced me to throw away the glass before gulping the
material in it… “The time when my wit and knowledge left me alone, your
thoughts guided me through the tunnel of negativity..” How many are so lucky to
get a person like you, even in their thoughts..?
That made me think of some other way of getting peace.. This
time I was more desperate to attain peace and “that for a lifetime”… The solution
struck my mind with a lightning speed… To get a lifetime peace all I need to do
is “CUT”..
And I did cut… If succeeded, I would’ve been “resting in peace”..
“Life is all about getting satisfaction and peace.. All we
need to do is cut.. It only depends where and what are we cutting..”
